Mumma fear. I used to love a scary movie or a real life serial killer doco on Netflix. Then I became a Mumma. That changed.
One second, looking adoringly at your bub playing with their favourite toy, or watching your family play together…you get that swell in your chest of love and pride and BAM! A vision of some absurd freak accident flashes before your eyes, and before you can stop yourself – you are almost in tears, cant believe this has happened, morbidly playing out the scene…where do these Sudden Absurd Fears (SAFs) come from?!
Hold up Mumma!
If this is you – know that you aren’t alone! I know from talking to my girlfriends, this is many of us as soon as we hit motherhood.
So how can we stop these crazy thoughts from stealing those moments of joy? I’m a strategy girl so let me share the one I use incase resonates for you.
- Catch yourself in the act - don’t go down that morbid dark alleyway! Be on the lookout for when it happens and stop – take a big deep breath.
- LOL - Then laugh at yourself. Yes, laugh. Out loud is best. “There you go again SAFing, Laura! It isn’t real.” (Yes laughing out loud randomly might make other people think you are nuts but lets pick our battles). Since you have laughed, you cant be in fear right now. You now remind yourself that fear isn’t real. Fear is literally you being afraid of something that hasn’t yet happened. Therefore if you are deciding on a scary future, why not decide on a better one?
- Bear hug - Next you give yourself a hug (this can be a mental hug if someone has already witnessed you LOLing to yourself) and tell yourself that its ok you had those thoughts. You are safe. Everyone is safe. I picture the self getting the hug as a little girl version of me, as I think all fears come from an insecurity. (Mine is not feeling worthy of having the life and love I have)
- Get present. When you are present, you cant be in fear because fear is a thought about the future. So, feel your butt cheeks on your seat. Feel the air going slowly in your nose and sigh it out your mouth. What can you smell right now? Being present means using your 5 senses in this moment and not running off in thoughts. Don’t think, just be. For a moment.
Once you start using the above process, the fear will come in less and less. You will look back and realise you made room for more joy.
You got this x
THANK YOU Laura for your amazing and spot on blog x